Thorston Football
by HeatherRoseIV
Summary: All of Hiccup's spare legs have gone missing, and he already knows who's stolen them. But little does he realize what an important part they are playing in sports history.


"Oh Thor," Hiccup muttered as he dug through the big wooden chest in his hut. "Oh gods, no."

Slamming the lid, he sat down on it in frustration.

All his spare legs were gone, and he already knew who had taken them. He gave a growling huff as he studied the only prosthetic he still had, the one he was wearing.

Only a few minutes ago, he and Toothless had been surprised by a flock of spooked Night Terrors, and crash-landed right into his own hut. Only a few bruises were gained, but now Hiccup's metal leg was bent so crooked that it didn't fit into the stirrup of Toothless' saddle, and neither of them could get anywhere.

Hobbling to the doorway with the Night Fury's help, Hiccup flung the door up and shouted at the top of his voice. "Astrid!"

He only had to wait a few seconds before Stormfly came swooping up, Astrid leaping off her back onto the thick wooden platform.

"I thought you were just getting a spare leg," she said, looking at his metal foot with an arched eyebrow. "What's wrong now?"

"Every single one of them, gone," Hiccup grumbled, hopping awkwardly to Stormfly. "Where are the twins?" He scrambled onto the Nadder's back with some difficulty.

"Still out on patrol," Astrid answered with a frown. "Or should be. I see the problem there." She mounted in front of Hiccup.

"Stay here, bud." Hiccup patted the black nose that reached up to nuzzle him. "We'll be right back."

Toothless sat back with a snort. _Like I can go much of anywhere,_ his deadpan expression said.

With a pat from Astrid, Stormfly took to the air.

"They might be on the other side of the island," Astrid said over her shoulder. "Ruff and Tuff have been obsessed with the holes left by the Whispering Death hatchlings from last week."

Hiccup didn't answer, too busy trying to keep Astrid's windblown braid out of his eyes and mouth.

They soared over Dragon's Edge, until Astrid extended an arm suddenly to point. "There. I thought so."

A minute later, they landed near the beach, and Hiccup fell to the ground as he dismounted, forgetting his bent foot. He stood, wincing and rubbing his already bruised rear end.

Sure enough, there were Ruffnut and Tuffnut, standing crouched over something, with Snotlout sitting on a nearby log, fuming and muttering to himself. None of them even looked up as Hiccup hobbled quickly over to the twins, Astrid hurrying to support him.

"Ruff! Tuff!" Hiccup's eyes grew wide as he saw all his spare legs in a pile. Every one of them was dented and broken. "What in Valhalla are you doing?!"

Just as he yelled, Tuffnut, a spare leg in his hands, swung it. Something went flying low across the stony ground, rolling right into a Whispering Death hole.

"Yes!" Tuffnut whooped, doing a chicken-like victory dance. He fist-bumped Ruffnut and whirled around to point finger guns at Snotlout. "And THAT, my young loser friend, is how you DO it!"

Snotlout snarled unintelligibly back at him, throwing a broken prosthetic to the ground and stomping on it.

"What? Do what?!" Hiccup flung his arms out, losing his balance. Astrid caught him.

Tuffnut turned as if only just noticing Hiccup and Astrid were there. "I'm not sure, we haven't decided what to call it yet." He tapped his chin with the spare leg thoughtfully. "I'm thinking Potato-Whack."

"I thought we were gonna call it Football." Ruffnut frowned.

"_What_?" Hiccup clutched at his head with one hand. "What are guys even _doing_? Give me that!" He snatched the leg from Tuff. It was the only one not bent out of shape yet. Sitting down, he replaced it.

"You were supposed to be patrolling, and you're out here destroying all his spare legs?" Astrid took a turn yelling at them.

"We _were_ patrolling!" Ruffnut shot back. "But we finished!"

"That's no excuse for whatever you were doing here, and you didn't report back!" Astrid fumed.

"We reported to Snotlout," Tuffnut said carelessly. "And he liked the idea of our new game, so we've been teaching him to play. He's having anger issues, though."

He motioned to the pile of dented prosthetics.

To demonstrate, Snotlout threw one hard at a rock.

Hiccup and Astrid, both lost for words, facepalmed in unison.

"See, we're just putting these Whispering Death holes to good use," said Ruffnut, in a businesslike tone. "Entertainment is important, Hiccup. Even the toughest warriors and explorers need a break now and then. So we've created a fun but relaxing game that we can all enjoy, right here on our own island."

Tuffnut took it up from there. "We've collected the roundest potatoes from Fishlegs' potato garden, those are the balls. You have to hit them into a hole with a club, which is one of your spare legs, by the way, Hiccup, these work really great. Never break or anything, unless Snotlout gets ahold of them and loses it, as you can see."

Here, Snotlout huffed in the background.

"We're still working out the point system, and these clubs are kinda short, and if the holes were smaller it'd present a better challenge, but I seriously think we're on the verge of a groundbreaking invention here!"

"Leg-breaking, more like!" Astrid interrupted. "You've ruined every single one of these! Hiccup can't fly Toothless if they're bent, you know that!"

"Sorry," Tuffnut shrugged insincerely. "We tried sticks at first, but they just didn't have the same shape and weight, and Snotlout broke them all too easily."

Hiccup stood, shaking his head and running a hand through his hair. "Don't let Snotlout play, then. He doesn't seem to like it anyway."

Snotlout grunted.

"We won't." Ruffnut rolled her eyes.

"And you won't be playing any more of whatever this is today," Hiccup scowled. "You have a whole pile of spare legs to help me fix. You too, Snotlout."

All three troublemakers groaned, but they picked up the prosthetics, knowing the fun was over.

"Hiccup the party pooper," Ruffnut muttered as she and her brother hopped on their dragon.

"I knew he'd come poop on our party," Tuff added.

Hiccup ignored them, rolling his eyes as he got on Stormfly behind Astrid again.

"I know what we should call it," said Snotlout, his sour look having dropped into disappointment. "Golf. That means club. The game uses clubs."

"That's a stupid name," the twins said in unison.

"We're calling it Football," added Ruffnut, with stubborn finality.


End file.
